I am a planner by nature, and I don’t like when things come out of left field. It frustrates me, and it’s even more frustrating when it’s something that doesn’t have a clear cut answer. I hate that. I know sometimes it’s good to make a list of pros and cons, but in this case it isn’t really helping and it seems to be clouding the issue even more.
I mean, I’m a pretty decisive person, I decide I’m going to jump out of a plane, I do it. I decide I’m going to get a new tattoo I do it. Right now, I’m standing at the edge of the cliff and almost ready to take a totally blind leap of faith. I’m not sure if I can. I’m scared of falling again and of the crash that seems to be inevitable. But it might not be a crash, I might have a parachute suddenly open up and it take a new adventure, one which could be really good, or horribly bad. If it’s bad, I don’t know how I would recover. As I get older it is harder and harder to keep brushing the dust off and getting back on that horse. But if I don’t will I always wonder?
I’ve tried hard to live without regrets, I have a couple that still kill me. I know I can never go back and change the outcome of those. Ugh, why can’t life just come with an instruction book and I would know what to do?
If you find the instruction book will you make a copy and send it to me?
I say take the leap. If you don’t you will forever be wondering what if. I think living life wondering what if would be harder than doing it and it coming out with a negative outcome.
I’m here if you need me girl.
I wish life could come with an instruction book and a crystal ball as well.